Tuesday, June 26, 2012


Change.  Its constant and inevitable in life.  And its something I sometimes struggle with. 

When Andrew and I were doing pre-marital counseling, our counselor (who was a personal friend of ours) had us do a personality assessment called the DISC.  Its normally used to analyze people in a workplace environment, but Keith thought it might be helpful in figuring out how some of our personality traits might work in our marraige.

Dominance – relating to control, power and assertiveness
Inducement – relating to social situations and communication
Steadiness – relating to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness
Compliance – relating to structure and organization

The test consists of several questions and comes with a score for each category listed above.  Andrew had pretty consistent scores in each category with his highest in the I and C categories.  Me, I was all S.  The program spits out a report that describes the person and its almost scary how much it perfectly described my personality and work habits.

Wikipedia describes the "S" personality as follows:

Steadiness: People with high "S" styles scores want a steady pace, security, and do not like sudden change. High "S" individuals are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. Low "S" intensity scores are those who like change and variety. People with low "S" scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive.

One quote from Keith in a summative email after we had gone over each of our reports was this:
"Andrew likes change - a bit at a time - though Sarah is resistant to it - UNLESS there's a good reason"

It's true, I do not like change for the sake of change.  I can accept change if there is a very good reason for changing something.  I like my routine, I like the feeling of stability.

We've got some big changes in life coming up.  This baby will be life changing.  But I feel there is a reason and purpose for this change.  I know God has called me to be a mother and I feel (mostly) ready for this change.  But it freaks me out at how much it will change my relationship with other people (including my husband), our general routine, etc. 

There are lots of things at work that are changing.   Our COO has decided to leave the company after 22 years.  This is the man who gave my my first job, he promoted me to management, was supportive of my change back to a staff therapist after I got married, and is all around a good guy and the face of my company.  It will be different without him at the helm.  Another therapist in my office is also leaving to move closer to his hometown.  My best friend who is a manager at another office got married and is moving to New York with her new husband who is in the Coast Guard.

Lots of changes.  I don't like it.  It makes me nervous to wonder where the company is going without Claude at the helm.  It makes me wonder the dynamic of our clinic with a new therapist just when things are feeling settled with our current staff.  It makes me wonder what fun company meetings will be without getting to catch up with Julie.

Life is busy in general right now.  In addition for prepping for baby, we are working on our rental property (which stresses me out), all these work changes, getting ready for company and vacation, and on top I may have gestational diabetes after scoring a mere 2 points above normal on 1 of my blood tests. 

Needless to say, I had a mild breakdown tonight.  All these changes, the disruptions to my routine are all piling up on my plate.  Add in a nice helping of pregnancy hormones and I feel like a wreck.

Or maybe I'm just ready for vacation.  The thought of sitting on the deck with a book and a view of Flathead Lake in Montana sounds really good right now.  Will be there in 2 weeks!

I will try and get confessions done this week.  Happy Summer friends!

Monday, June 18, 2012

A shout out to my husband

First, I should wish him a Happy Father's Day.  I know that he doesn't yet "feel" like a dad like I "feel" like a Mom but he is being an amazing Dad by simply taking care of me during this pregnancy.  He makes me s'mores on demand, vacuums the stairs for me, and lets me borrow his clothes for pajamas.  And the last few days, he has done his best to help me avoid stressing out.

See, our tenants moved out of our rental property and left it in pretty rough shape.  This was MY first house so I have an emotional attachment to it.  To see it so dirty and neglected makes me sad.  And I get easily overwhelmed at all that needs to be done to get it ready to rent again.  We were there yesterday and we did a lot of work - as much as could be done in a Sunday afternoon.  One task included taking a yard waste bin that was filled with anything but yard waste - mainly nasty smelly garbage that included dog poo, cat litter and a dead turtle.  Andrew bagged everything in garbage bags and we left them in front of the house so we could fill the yard waste bin with actual yard waste.

Last night, all I could dream about and think about was garbage.  I started worrying that we left smelly garbage bags on the street (because our tenants conveniently lost our actual garbage bin) and that the neighbors could smell it or animals would be ripping the bags open and strewing crap all over the streets of Tacoma.  We won't be able to get back down there until Saturday.  I woke up at 2:00 am and could not get my brain to stop thinking about garbage.  Andrew ended up being up about 3 and was also thinking the same thing.  We talked for a while, contemplated just getting up at 4am and driving down to take care of it and decided that we would go tonight after work and move the garbage bags to the back yard where at least if animals got into them then the crap would be in our yard not the street. 

Andrew ended up making this trip by himself - braving rush hour traffic by himself to move garbage and do a couple of other quick things around the house.  An hour drive each way to be there for 30 minutes to move some garbage bags.  All so I can sleep better tonight.

Bottom line, he's an amazing husband.  He always puts my needs before his.  And I know that's what will make him an amazing father.  And a handsome one at that :-)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Mid Week Confessions

-I'm typing these confessions on a Mac.  Andrew brought it home from work and I don't do well with change.  The scrolling is weird, there is no mouse "button" and to copy and paste its command vs control.  I know people out there love their Macs but I've been using a PC too long.

-I bought a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos on Sunday.  They were gone in less than 24 hours.

-I sometimes wish I could be irresponsible and just let our rental property go into foreclosure just to get rid of it.  (backstory - our tenants moved out and we went down to look at the house and discovered they have pretty much trashed it.  We are going to have to put a lot of money and work into it to get it ready to rent.  This was a house I bought in 2007 and its not worth nearly what is worth thanks to the housing drop over the last few years.  We can afford to keep up with the mortgage especially if we have tenants but its a big pain to keep up with it).

- I should have worked out this morning, I slept instead.

- I totally pulled the pregnancy card this week - I wasn't feeling well and had a relatively open afternoon at work.  They wanted me to go to another clinic to fill in for a sick therapist.  I felt extremely guilty not going because its totally my nature to help out but I really just wanted to go home and take a nap.

I'm out.  Have to get to bead early tonight so I can get up and work out tomorrow morning :-)

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Things you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman...

Why is it that common sense goes out the window when it comes to pregnant women?  I am always amazed at the uninvited commentary I get when people find out I am pregnant whether its how I'm carrying or what type of pacifiers I should use.  And, after a conversation I had this morning, I just had to make a list and share it with you all to keep in mind the next time you have a run in with a pregnant lady.

1. "Are you sure you aren't having twins?"

This is a transcript of a conversation I had with someone this morning at a church women's get together.  I'll call her Jane.

Jane:  So, when are you due?
Me: September 21st
Jane: Oh.  Are there two in there?
Me:  nope, just one.
Jane: Have they told you that you are measuring big or anything?
Me: My doctor hasn't said anything.  Its common in this phase of pregnancy to have a growth spurt as the baby pretty much doubles in size between 16 and 24 weeks.
Jane:  Are you sure you aren't having twins?
Me:  Well I've had two ultrasounds and they've only seen one.

Seriously?  Thanks for calling me fat.  Because I'm not already self concious about my weight gain or anything.  Every woman carries her baby differently.  Don't ever even assume someone is pregnant unless they tell you first and then don't ask if she's having twins unless she has told you.

2. "Was it an oops baby?"

First of all, its none of your business.

Second, even if it was an unplanned pregnancy, I would not refer to my child as a mistake. 

3.  "Are you sure its a boy?"

My mom and I were checking out at Macy's buying baby boy clothes and the woman ringing up our purchase says "Are you sure its a boy?  Two of my daughters thought they were having one gender and it was wrong and they had to exchange all of their clothes."

Have you been with me at any of my appointments?  Nope.  Do you know that I have a "butt shot" of my son where I can see his little man parts?  The people with the actual medical degrees told me it was a boy and I trust them

On another note, why are you trying to stress out a pregnant hormonal woman?    Now I'm afraid to wash any of my baby clothes just in case I might have to take them back in case something was wrong.

4. "You probably shouldn't be eating/drinking that."

Its perfectly safe for a pregnant woman to consume up to 200 mg of caffeine per day (about 2 cups of coffee).  Personally, I have read all the pregnancy books and am aware of what I should and should not eat.  You implying that I am ignorant or would be putting my unborn child in any sort of intentional danger is offensive. 

5.  "What does your doctor say about _____?"

My conversations with my doctor are none of your freaking business!  If you tell me where you got YOUR medical degree, then I will take your opinion into consideration.

6.  "Are you sure you are pregnant?"  or "Are you sure you are xx weeks along?"

I have not gotten this question but know people that have.  Again, every woman carries her child differently.  I have a friend who is 3 weeks ahead of me but has a very different body type.  While I am definitely looking preggo, she looks like she might have eaten a few too many doughnuts.  She is tall and thin and has a very long torso.  I'm sure she gets this question all the time.  I'm also sure that she has had an ultrasound and can also feel her little guy kicking.  So yes, she's sure she's pregnant.  Unless she has a history of being a compuslive liar, take her word for it and don't question it.  Some women are as self conscious about being too small as others are about being too big.

I know that most people have only good intentions when they ask these questions.  I'm sure that "Jane" didn't even realize that she was indirectly criticizing my weight gain.  But people need to keep in mind that along with pregnancy comes hormones which make us extra sensitive to lots of things - especially things that have to with the way we are taking care of our unborn children.  For us first timers, we are already stressed about the notion of being a parent and doing everything we can to make our pregnancy a healthy and positive experience.  Placing doubt in our brains is the least helpful thing you can do.

What comments are helpful? 
"You look great!"
"How are you feeling?" ( I know I mentioned a previous post about this but when people ask I know they are concerned about me)
"I'm so excited for you"
"Do you need anything?"

I would say the majority of people I deal with all say very nice and complimentary things.  Its only a few that say what I have mentioned above but the negative ones are the ones that stick with you and ruin your day.  So remember to respect a pregnant woman and her hormones and think about what you say.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Why I won't tell you my baby name

Let me preface this by saying we are no where near deciding on a name for Baby H.  I have several names that I think are cute that I have mentioned to Andrew only to get a response of "eh, its okay.  I don't love it."  So, I assigned Andrew the task of making a list of names that he does like/love - but his general opinion is "we have 4 months, do I really need to decide this now?" 

When we do decide on a name, I don't plan to tell anyone.  Well, maybe a very close friend or two just to get an honest opinion but otherwise no one else.  Why?  Couple reasons.

1) While most people would probably be quite gracious, you always have that one person who will say "I knew a person named so-and-so - they were the worst.  Ended up being a transvestite serial killer."  Or "You know that all the kids at school will call him this or that."  Frankly, I don't want to someone to ruin the name for me.  If I introduce them to my son and say this is so-and-so, then they will more likely marvel at what a handsome baby boy he is than tell me why they don't like the name I chose.  Who can insult a baby's name to his face?

2) What if I change my mind come game day?  What if I choose the name Dawson and then when he comes out decides he looks more like a Pacey?  (who can guess what I'm watching as I type this?).  Everyone will think his name is one thing and then I will have to correct them.

3) What if somone steals my name?  I know lots of people who are pregnant and this seems to be the year of the boy.  If I announce my baby name publicly, then someone may steal it (intentionally or unintentionally) and if their boy is born before ours then we will seem like copy cats.  The chances of someone we know very well taking our name and our children spending large quantities of time together is probably slim but I'd rather not take it.  If someone who has a baby before us uses our name, then we can decide if we still want to use it or change to something different.

4) I like the element of surprise - I want to see our family and friend's reaction when I tell them the name as they actually meet him.  Its way more fun that way.

Here are a few ideas of what we won't be using
  • Anything in the current top 10 list.  Its sad because I like a lot of those names.  But I was one of 4 Sarahs in my class growing up.  I was always known as Sarah W or Sarah Watson.  I don't want my son to be one of 12 Jacobs in his kindergarden class.
  • Anything with a crazy pronunciation or spelling.  I don't want my kid always having to correct people on the right way to say or spell their name.  Again, I have a relatively simple name but hate when people spell it without the h. 
So, sorry if you wanted to know our name but I probably won't share until he is born.  At this rate we may not even have one if we don't start thinking harder about it :-)

On a separate note, I spent a while Saturday working on my thank you cards.  I think they turned out pretty well.  The pajama stamp I found at a garage sale and the thanks was one I already have.  I'm a big fan of the block stamping because you can design your own with the different parts.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Belly Bump Update

We made it to 24 weeks - V-day!  I had no idea what V-day meant (other than Valentines day) but apparently the 24 week mark is a milestone.  Babies born after 24 weeks have a much higher liklihood of survival - hence the V stands for viability.  I have no concerns that Baby H will be coming any time soon but its nice to know.

A friend of mine from graduate school just had her baby somewhere around 31 or 32 weeks.  He was 4lbs at birth (which I find amazing that he was that big so young) and is in the NICU but doing well.  She went into pre-term labor and her doctors decided it was best to deliver him early.  She posts a lot on facebook so its nice to get updates.  Its amazing how much more I pay attention to baby stuff these days...

Anyway, I have an updated belly shot for all of you as well as previous ones so you can see the changes :-)

How far along? 24 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Somewhere around 20 lbs.  I feel like I've gained as much in my thighs as I have in my belly.  My doctor does not seem to be as concerned as I am.

Maternity clothes? Still squeeze into regular jackets and sweatshirts but everything else is elastic and roomy.
Stretch marks? Still none on the belly, but they continue to accumulate on my hips and thighs.
Sleep: Its been okay.  We've had a lot of house guests and Andrew was out of town for a couple of days.  I've been pretty tired lately - thinking of asking my doctor to check my iron levels at my next visit.
Best moment this week: Lots of kicks - my mom and dad were both able to feel the baby when they were here.  Also had fun shopping for baby clothes (see pictures below).
Miss Anything? I miss feeling skinny and having a waist.  I know that I should enjoy the ability to gain weight and not be so strict on my diet and I will be eating these words come November when I'm trying to lose it all.  But at the end of the day when I"m bloated and my ankles are swollen and all I want to do is get into my pajamas (aka Andrew's workout shorts and one if his t-shirts) I just wish I had energy to work out and feel normal.
Movement: He is getting a bit of routine down - usually a few kicks in the morning, some right before lunch time and then again after lunch, after dinner and then several at bed time when I lay down.
Food cravings: I'm actually digging the spicy stuff now - got jalepenos on my subway sandwhich - delicious!.

Anything making you queasy or sick: The last two times I've eaten at Red Robin has not made my tummy happy.
Have you started to show yet: Yep
Gender: Its a boy!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out?  Still an innie
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Depends alot on how well I've been sleeping.  I've had a few rough nighs of poor sleep and I get pretty emotional/hormonal and easily overwhelmed.  And the fact that I have less than 16 weeks to get everything done starts to freak me out a little.

Looking forward to: getting the registry started/finished and ordering nursery furniture.  I already scored a couple of high quality rocking chairs on Craigslist.

I finally got around to taking some pictures of some of the clothes we bought last weekend.

I love that the sweatshirt has little bug antennae on it!

These two onesies were hand made for Baby H by my friend Amy who was in my small group when I lived in Tacoma.  She made the bowtie one specifically in Virginia Tech colors for us.  She also made me an amazing travel kit for my make up brushes - can't wait to use it on our next trip.  Amy has an Etsy site here with lots of cute stuff.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!