Change. Its constant and inevitable in life. And its something I sometimes struggle with.
When Andrew and I were doing pre-marital counseling, our counselor (who was a personal friend of ours) had us do a personality assessment called the DISC. Its normally used to analyze people in a workplace environment, but Keith thought it might be helpful in figuring out how some of our personality traits might work in our marraige.
Dominance – relating to control, power and assertiveness
Inducement – relating to social situations and communication
Steadiness – relating to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness
Compliance – relating to structure and organization
The test consists of several questions and comes with a score for each category listed above. Andrew had pretty consistent scores in each category with his highest in the I and C categories. Me, I was all S. The program spits out a report that describes the person and its almost scary how much it perfectly described my personality and work habits.
Wikipedia describes the "S" personality as follows:
Steadiness: People with high "S" styles scores want a steady pace, security, and do not like sudden change. High "S" individuals are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. Low "S" intensity scores are those who like change and variety. People with low "S" scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive.
One quote from Keith in a summative email after we had gone over each of our reports was this:
"Andrew likes change - a bit at a time - though Sarah is resistant to it - UNLESS there's a good reason"
It's true, I do not like change for the sake of change. I can accept change if there is a very good reason for changing something. I like my routine, I like the feeling of stability.
We've got some big changes in life coming up. This baby will be life changing. But I feel there is a reason and purpose for this change. I know God has called me to be a mother and I feel (mostly) ready for this change. But it freaks me out at how much it will change my relationship with other people (including my husband), our general routine, etc.
There are lots of things at work that are changing. Our COO has decided to leave the company after 22 years. This is the man who gave my my first job, he promoted me to management, was supportive of my change back to a staff therapist after I got married, and is all around a good guy and the face of my company. It will be different without him at the helm. Another therapist in my office is also leaving to move closer to his hometown. My best friend who is a manager at another office got married and is moving to New York with her new husband who is in the Coast Guard.
Lots of changes. I don't like it. It makes me nervous to wonder where the company is going without Claude at the helm. It makes me wonder the dynamic of our clinic with a new therapist just when things are feeling settled with our current staff. It makes me wonder what fun company meetings will be without getting to catch up with Julie.
Life is busy in general right now. In addition for prepping for baby, we are working on our rental property (which stresses me out), all these work changes, getting ready for company and vacation, and on top I may have gestational diabetes after scoring a mere 2 points above normal on 1 of my blood tests.
Needless to say, I had a mild breakdown tonight. All these changes, the disruptions to my routine are all piling up on my plate. Add in a nice helping of pregnancy hormones and I feel like a wreck.
Or maybe I'm just ready for vacation. The thought of sitting on the deck with a book and a view of Flathead Lake in Montana sounds really good right now. Will be there in 2 weeks!
I will try and get confessions done this week. Happy Summer friends!